Overwhelming

Sometimes in life things happen, that we don't know how to deal with, and I will say losing Marissa has definately been one of those things for me! Their is not a day go by that I do not think of her, and remember so many good times with her. She is always on my mind, sometimes pushed to the back, just because I cant stand the pain that comes with thinking of how different our lives should be. I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and call her whenever something happens that I want to tell her, I still catch myself from calling her name when I walk in mom's house. Whenever Miranda calls me upset about something it makes me even more mad, because alot of the things she is going through would not even be an issue if she still had her twin. I am so glad to be so close to Miranda that she feels like she can talk to me, but sometimes it makes it harder. I guess to sum it all up I am still just really mad! I miss my sister more than I ever thought possible, and I am sad that Miranda is fixing to graduate, and start a whole new phase of her life, that Marissa will never be a part of! Sometimes all of it just becomes to overwhelming and I feel like I cannot breathe, I know my life will never be the same and now I am trying to figure out how to deal with what is now my normal life! I miss my sister, my friend and I just wish I could have one more chance to tell her how much I love her!